Although love is an intensely private affair...

Once the giddy romantic feelings of getting engaged began to subside, Ryan and I began to think through our wedding and creatively brainstorm how our wedding could make a difference in other people’s lives, not just our own!  We were keen to steer clear of the mammoth wedding industry that tempted us to believe that in order to have a perfect day we had to spend vast amounts of money on over-priced products sold by faceless companies of their recommendation – and instead we desired our wedding to be a multicolored tapestry of love, creativity and beauty that would directly benefit those most vulnerable in society.   

The bride with miHi rose clip...

Although love is an intensely private affair, it is also wholehearted communal.  I love the sentiment expressed by activist and writer, Wendell Berry, who understands that, “lovers must not, like usurers, live for themselves alone. They must finally turn from their gaze at one another back toward the community.”  In an attempt, albeit a small one, to turn our gaze back towards others, we longed for our wedding to sing out a song of hope and inclusion to those who were marginalized and use our wedding budget to support small businesses whose owners were journeying on the path towards self-employment. 

miHi bunting available for hire.  Made from 10 sari's!

I had always admired miHi’s rose hair clips, and was struck at the way that miHi was partnering with marginalised women in Delhi, such as those from the red-light district, and encouraging and supporting them out of abject poverty or degrading work, through the making of beautiful jewellery, bunting and hair clips…For us, this pointed towards hope for dignity was slowing being restored as products of exquisite beauty were flowing out from dark and sordid places.  Instantly we thought of the floral rose clips that I had seen on miHi’s website – and began to think through a vintage wedding theme whereby each woman guest could receive a beautiful pearl decorated floral rose clip as a wedding favor.  

We swiftly put in an order at miHi, and a few weeks later, received a beautiful personalize package of perfectly-made rose hair clips – with a letter which explained that a lady called Bindu in the slums of Delhi, had made them for our wedding.  As we received the package, I was struck at how this small choice that we had made was enabling Bindu’s business to grow and providing her an alternative income enabling her to provide for her family in a dignifying manner.  The truth of Mother Teresa’s words rang in my ears, “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

With a similar hope in mind, we contacted businesswomen in London who were self-employed, many of who were single mothers from low-income families, who had begun their own businesses in order to escape the trap of the welfare system.  We were in touch with Paula*, a single mother and cake-maker-extraordinaire, and began to plan with her a three-tiered carrot-cup cake wedding cake decorated with turquoise butterflies.  In the same way, the flowers, the delicious chocolate brownie deserts, the hiring of equipment, the lamb for spit roasting - were all sourced through small businesses.

Gorgeous butterfly cupcakes...

Through organizing our wedding, I realized that it is the small choices that we make in our life, that are likely to have the biggest impact on others…it was choosing for our wedding favors to come from miHi that meant our wedding was able to benefit and support Bindu in the slums of Delhi – it was making choices that would benefit those who struggle at the margins of our society that will begin to restore dignity to people whilst creating a beautiful tapestry of beauty…indeed our wedding might have only been one stone that was cast, but my guess is that it did create many ripples.

*Not a real name